Tagged: shut the fuck up

I’m Cranky, God Dammit-Part 1

Okay. I’m feeling ranty. Yes, that’s totally a word.

As a friend pointed out  on the irritating vegans post, vegans get a whole lot more shit than they give. I’ve seen the boyfriend trying to remain calm as his dietary practices were mocked. I’ve also seen him not remain calm. As for me, I haven’t experienced anything terrible yet. But I’m new at this. My grandma repeatedly asks me what I can possibly be eating if it’s not meat and potatoes. But she’s 91, very forgetful and didn’t grow up with Tofutti cream cheese. She’s not being a twat, she’s just genuinely confused.

I’ve asked my friend to write a post about his experiences dealing with taking shit from non-vegans. I’d like to try to see both sides. Vegan or meat eater, you can be an asshole. One doesn’t make you a nicer person. Both sides are handling things in idiotic ways.

Here’s my problem though, generally a non-vegan who gives a vegan shit about their diet is doing it out of ignorance or some deep down feeling of guilt. (This is my theory anyway, mostly based on my feelings from when I ate meat.) Most people have no idea what kind of cruelty and needless violence their diet is party to. Is it completely dumb to NOT research where your food comes from and how it was treated? Yes, duh. But we were all that person at one point. Not many of us were born and raised vegan. Some of us started questioning things young but some didn’t start until later in life. Even at 60 it’s not too late to start researching and looking at the facts. The vast majority of people making bacon jokes to you don’t actually want to go field goal kick a piglet and then shoot it in the head.

Gah, too many arguments in my head.

Okay, but vegans who are outright angry and aggressive to meat eaters are coming from a place of anger. They’re sick of people questioning their morals. They’re sick of being made fun of for choices that they know are smart. I get that. But what are you helping when you use anger to get people to understand why what you’re doing is so important? Using anger in arguments with ignorant people is not helpful.

Just to remind you:


  1. Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.
  2. Lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular: “ignorant of astronomy
Not stupid. Ignorant.

I thought about taking down the irritating vegan post because I feel like I’ll probably change my tune later on. But this blog is about the journey (oh god, I want to slap myself right now), so it would be dishonest to not write how I feel right now. And how I feel RIGHT NOW is that YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES. I don’t care what you eat, you’re assholes. Stop fighting. Stop being angry. *

*Don’t stop being angry about the practices in factory farms, don’t stop being angry about the shit going into our food. Just stop getting angry at the wrong people. Put your energy in more useful places.



10 Things That Make Vegans Annoying*

1. As I mentioned in my previous post STFU. Most people do not give a shit.

2. Vegan policing other people. “That Monster energy drink isn’t vegan, bro!”

3. Not allowing your friends to eat what they want at a bbq. This is highly contested but I’m sorry, if it’s on a separate grill, it’s not my job to tell you what to eat. If you feel the need to tell your friends what they should eat at bbqs, perhaps you should only have vegan friends and save yourself the trouble.

4. Forcing an entire group of non-vegans to go to a vegan restaurant for you and your needs. Unless it’s your birthday.

5. Trying to out vegan other vegans, another form of policing. “Smoking isn’t vegan, just so you know.” Eat. A. Dick. Oh wait…is that vegan?

6. Filling your FB page with upsetting images of animals being slaughtered. The only thing that does is make people block your feed. Ya can’t force the info on people.

7. Insisting that vegan cheese is good. It’s not. It’s just not. Melted Daiya is the closest we’ll ever get. Stop telling your cheese eating friends that soy cheese is yums. It’s a lie.


8. Have I mentioned that you should shut the fuck up?

9. Reciting grotesque facts about factory farms while your friend is eating a chicken sandwich. Dick move, yo.

10. Don’t be this girl:

Sure, she has some valid points. But she’s also a raging asshole. No one is going to be shamed into a  lifestyle like this. What a self righteous twat. I’m willing to bet that more than a few people went out and had steak after watching that video just to spite that broad.

Google “annoying vegan”. Vegans are perhaps one of the most easily mocked groups. You can mock them because it’s not racist or sexist. No one is going to think you’re an evil person for shitting on a foaming at the mouth plant eater.

Point being? You’re hurting the cause more than helping it when you preach on and on like a deranged minister. Shush your little mouth. Here, I have some bomb mac and “cheese” for you, shove that in there.

*I may or may not be guilty of several of these things. I’m working on it!!

STFU, You Hippie

The last time I visited my best friend of 12 years, we started off our night of drinking with a bottle of sake. A couple had left the bottle at a party a few weeks ago because they noticed it had honey in it and they’re new and enthusiastic vegans.

Inevitably a discussion ensued. My dear friend scoffed and posed a question that, at the time, I thought was incredibly valid.

“Why do you have to label yourself? Why can’t you just eat whatever food you eat and be quiet about it?”

Excellent point.

No one wants to hear a jesus freak blather on and on about their love for Christ. Just like a lot of people don’t give a shit if you’re gay but would love for you to shut up about the fact that you’re gay. Pray to whoever you like. Suck on the genitals of whatever sex floats your boat. But stop yapping about it. Or if you must yap, do it to other people who love the topic as much as you do.

My friend has known me as a cheeseburger craving meat eater, a half hearted vegetarian and now a best intentions vegan. As a woman who knows her way around a kitchen and puts down some tasty grub for guests, I’m frustrating for her.

At the time she posed that question, I fully agreed. STFU about your dietary choices. Just eat. But now, as I get more serious about it, I understand why vegans like to nerd out over food so much.

For one, food is much less simple now. If you want to dine out, you need to make sure there are menu items that you can/will eat. That cuts out a whole lot of options. When grocery shopping you’re forced to check ingredients and learn all the sneaky words for milk like casein.

You can’t just shove any old thing in your mouth anymore and that is complicated as fuck. For the average joe the only thought that needs to happen is “Is this tasty, do I want to eat it?” or “How healthy is this?”

Of course there are meat eaters who are trying to avoid processed foods, white sugar, corn syrup, yada yada. They feel my pain to some extent.

But it’s still frustrating for other people. I’m glad that I know what it’s like to be on both sides. I used to want to slap the shit out of people like me. Therefore, I’m trying to not label myself. I’m not shoving information down anyone’s throat. I’m just trying to be the best I can be.