Holy shit, kids. It’s been a while.
I got distracted starting my other blog, Tell Me So, Monroe. It focuses on self betterment, relationships and not letting people piss on the wall instead of in the toilet. Check it out.
There’s another deep, dark, terrible reason that I stopped posting here.
I’m not really being vegan right now.
Oh, the shaaaaaame.
As I mention in my bio here, I drunkenly agreed to veganism a few years ago when the boyfriend and I decided to shack up. Before meeting him, dating a vegan was so far out of the question that you would have been more likely to catch me on a date an unemployed chose your own adventure writer who was 5’3″. I openly despised veganism because every vegan I met was a raging douche. Ranting and raving, judging and snarking. No better than religious zealots or republicans barking about legitimate rape. Of course, I didn’t understand the concept fully at the time. I just knew that I was apparently an asshole for eating cheese.
Education is key when switching to a vegan diet. You can’t give up so much without knowing why you’re doing it. I never met a vegan who could explain why they lived that way without getting smug and superior. I HATE condescension. I will fold my wee little ears and start rapping Salt N’ Peppa in my head while you drone on and on.
The boyfriend is far from calm and is almost always a little superior when it comes to discussing veganism. He’s taken a tremendous amount of shit from people over the years and it’s left his fuse incredibly short. Luckily, we fell in love pretty damn hard and incredibly quick so I had very little time to think about what he was putting in his pie hole when we went to dinner.
Our household now and for as long as we’ve lived together is vegan. We cook only vegan. When my parents come to visit and my mom wants to make vegetarian dishes that include dairy, I don’t tell her no. She would cook nothing but pasta otherwise. I know that for some people that’s a big no-no and it probably pisses off the boyfriend. But it’s not something I want to make a big deal out of.
After two years of struggling with it. I decided to relax. For the sake of my relationship and my sanity. I’m dealing with so many issues in myself. My relationship with food and health is one of many things that I need to work on. When I look at the whole picture though, I get overwhelmed. I need to start with one thing and work my way down the list.
It’s also a lifestyle change that I need to make for myself, not for the boyfriend. I don’t eat meat ever, yes that includes fish too, mom! But when dining out I’m eating some dairy.
This all goes back to how I wish the vegan community was more supportive of people making changes, however small they might be to start. Instead of shitting on people when they decide to do Meatless Mondays, why not support it and be thrilled that they’re trying. Maybe that will lead to Meatless Tuesday or Meatless Month! Quick trying to force people into making huge changes all at once. If someone is eating vegan 50% of the time or 25% of the time that’s better than nothing at all so quit being such a dick.
I believe in the cause. I believe it’s the right thing to do. I’m sure that the more I learn to cook and the more I learn about healthy eating, the more I will go back into full time veganism.
This blog was started to document my journey. It’s never been about being perfect. It’s about being honest.
The last time I visited my best friend of 12 years, we started off our night of drinking with a bottle of sake. A couple had left the bottle at a party a few weeks ago because they noticed it had honey in it and they’re new and enthusiastic vegans.
Inevitably a discussion ensued. My dear friend scoffed and posed a question that, at the time, I thought was incredibly valid.
“Why do you have to label yourself? Why can’t you just eat whatever food you eat and be quiet about it?”
No one wants to hear a jesus freak blather on and on about their love for Christ. Just like a lot of people don’t give a shit if you’re gay but would love for you to shut up about the fact that you’re gay. Pray to whoever you like. Suck on the genitals of whatever sex floats your boat. But stop yapping about it. Or if you must yap, do it to other people who love the topic as much as you do.
My friend has known me as a cheeseburger craving meat eater, a half hearted vegetarian and now a best intentions vegan. As a woman who knows her way around a kitchen and puts down some tasty grub for guests, I’m frustrating for her.
At the time she posed that question, I fully agreed. STFU about your dietary choices. Just eat. But now, as I get more serious about it, I understand why vegans like to nerd out over food so much.
For one, food is much less simple now. If you want to dine out, you need to make sure there are menu items that you can/will eat. That cuts out a whole lot of options. When grocery shopping you’re forced to check ingredients and learn all the sneaky words for milk like casein.
You can’t just shove any old thing in your mouth anymore and that is complicated as fuck. For the average joe the only thought that needs to happen is “Is this tasty, do I want to eat it?” or “How healthy is this?”
Of course there are meat eaters who are trying to avoid processed foods, white sugar, corn syrup, yada yada. They feel my pain to some extent.
But it’s still frustrating for other people. I’m glad that I know what it’s like to be on both sides. I used to want to slap the shit out of people like me. Therefore, I’m trying to not label myself. I’m not shoving information down anyone’s throat. I’m just trying to be the best I can be.