10 Things That Make Vegans Annoying*

1. As I mentioned in my previous post STFU. Most people do not give a shit.

2. Vegan policing other people. “That Monster energy drink isn’t vegan, bro!”

3. Not allowing your friends to eat what they want at a bbq. This is highly contested but I’m sorry, if it’s on a separate grill, it’s not my job to tell you what to eat. If you feel the need to tell your friends what they should eat at bbqs, perhaps you should only have vegan friends and save yourself the trouble.

4. Forcing an entire group of non-vegans to go to a vegan restaurant for you and your needs. Unless it’s your birthday.

5. Trying to out vegan other vegans, another form of policing. “Smoking isn’t vegan, just so you know.” Eat. A. Dick. Oh wait…is that vegan?

6. Filling your FB page with upsetting images of animals being slaughtered. The only thing that does is make people block your feed. Ya can’t force the info on people.

7. Insisting that vegan cheese is good. It’s not. It’s just not. Melted Daiya is the closest we’ll ever get. Stop telling your cheese eating friends that soy cheese is yums. It’s a lie.

 

8. Have I mentioned that you should shut the fuck up?

9. Reciting grotesque facts about factory farms while your friend is eating a chicken sandwich. Dick move, yo.

10. Don’t be this girl:

Sure, she has some valid points. But she’s also a raging asshole. No one is going to be shamed into a ┬álifestyle like this. What a self righteous twat. I’m willing to bet that more than a few people went out and had steak after watching that video just to spite that broad.

Google “annoying vegan”. Vegans are perhaps one of the most easily mocked groups. You can mock them because it’s not racist or sexist. No one is going to think you’re an evil person for shitting on a foaming at the mouth plant eater.

Point being? You’re hurting the cause more than helping it when you preach on and on like a deranged minister. Shush your little mouth. Here, I have some bomb mac and “cheese” for you, shove that in there.

*I may or may not be guilty of several of these things. I’m working on it!!

10 comments

  1. The Vegan

    I have to say for all the shit vegans may give non-vegans, vegans TAKE a hell of a lot more shit from EVERYONE. Just try being the only vegan at your work. Endless fun. Endless jokes about “hey look, Jesse, I’m eating MEAT, are you mad?” Endless me just smiling and nodding.

  2. Jesse

    YAY! Finally, I’ll say that I think #4 is fine (tho, I’m not sure how I can force anyone to a restaurant UNLESS it’s my bday), I mean would it KILL anyone to have ONE MEAL that is vegan? Spoiler alert: No. And like the above, it’s a greater pain to have to pick and choose from a non-vegan restaurant’s meager options… and after a disappointing experience at Tasty & Sons (we called and everything, but they LIE!), there are just some restaurants I, as a vegan, will not go to; nothing personal to my friends, just that if I want to eat, I’ll eat at home and join up later.

    I will most likely get shit for that, but which is worse: that or me bitching about it the whole time I’m at the restaurant?

    Also I’m way happy you’re doing this blog.

    • Sweet Bird

      I wondered how you guys ate at Tasty and Sons. I looked at the menu and decided to not go because I knew it would just piss me off. I think, especially in Portland there are places that everyone can happily eat at. Obviously I would never say, sure let’s go to Ringside Steakhouse. Luckily, all of our friends are too broke to afford steak anyway.

  3. Pingback: I’m Cranky, God Dammit-Part 1 « I Don't Eat Puppies
  4. Justice Stevens

    @the vegan, maybe no one would give you shit @work if no one knew you were vegan. Wait. How do the know you were vegan? Oh, you told them you’re vegan…

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